Christmas time is here... Actually, its been here and gone. And with it come the memories. The dating years, where we tried to go to all the parties that were on the same days. The first married years with the real Christmas trees and the beginning of the ornament collection and the angel tree topper. The year we had to tie the tree in the corner of the room because it kept tipping over... First Christmases, pictures of the kids by the trees each year, silly faces with mustaches, pj's and bed head, new socks and underwear every year... Decorating the top half of the tree only because Zak took all the ornaments he could reach off the tree (and then the cat doing the same thing last year!). Good memories of good times.
Of course, there are bad memories too. Funny thing is, they aren't even so bad now. The ruined corn pudding because the casserole dish broke. Going to family parties alone the year we were separated. Paul's surgery a few days before Christmas. Even these not-so-happy memories are so important! They make the little, not-so-important ones bigger, better, happier.
I remember the year we didn't know how we were going to HAVE Christmas for the boys. And Debbie bought toys, pj's, boots for them. Made Christmas for them. And this year, my kids made Christmas for me. Each of them gave me something special - their love. Yes, they all gave gifts. I received a new tweezer from Elaina because she remembered that she gave me one a year ago and its gone now. I got a coffee mug for a "dog mom" cause the kids know how much of a "kid" Lulu is to me - along with my favorite flavor of coffee. They gave me "A" and "P" to hang on the wall of my room because they know how hard this year is for me and each wrote me a note to go along with it. Their hearts were on those notes, stuffed in the infinity heart box they gave. These are the things that I will treasure and remember about this Christmas. Its not about the THINGS. But the things do remind us.
There are some special ornaments on the tree this year. Ornaments that will help us remember every year. Not the same ornaments. Not the same angel. But new memories. Memories of a new baby's first Christmas. Memories of a new first-Christmas-in-our-new-house. Missing those who are gone, never forgotten.
