Sunshine and Showers

Did you ever notice how when it rains, it POURS?  Its been that kind of month for us.  Really, each thing in and of itself has been no big deal.  For some reason though, each LITTLE thing, comes in multiples until they all look rather large.  Honestly, I wake up each day and just remind myself that its a NEW day - to just take it as it comes in that day.  And I'm ok with that.  Just can't seem to get out from under that cloud sometimes. 

Its been almost a month since my last post.  Many times over the last few weeks I have thought of something that I really wanted to share - and then time got away from me.  I feel badly that I didn't have a "special" birthday post for Olivia.  My girl is 12 now.  Her birthday was on the first day of school.  She tends to get a bit overlooked because we are so caught up in the rush of fall: football season starting, school starting, dance starting... you get the picture.  But, amidst it all, she remains my cheerful (most of the time!), fun-loving (always!), beautiful (more each passing day!) girl.  Her birth was one of the best things to happen in a somewhat dark period for us.  Paul and I were struggling 12 years ago.  But, Olivia brought an amazing ray of sunshine into our lives when she came into it.  She was by far our easiest baby.  6 lbs. of loveliness right from the start :) She was, appropriately, born on Labor Day - I labored about 12 hours to deliver her, and our lives were changed forever!  Parents of a GIRL! And along with that, all the drama that girls bring! She was the first granddaughter on my side of the family, and let me just say - VERY spoiled! But it didn't spoil HER, at least, not much;) She is my joy, my friend, my helper.  I can't and DON'T want to imagine my life without her.  She is growing into such a wonderful young lady, I look forward to all the ups and downs middle school, and then high school will bring.  LOVE HER SO VERY MUCH.



5th grade graduation, 2012





 Our ongoing troubles with the water heater finally became an issue we HAD to address this weekend.  For the last several months, we have been babying the old girl along - the heating element had been replaced a couple years ago and now the reset button has finally given up.  Rather than buy a new one now, Paul thought he could replace the elements again.  No such luck.  After several hours of fighting with (and cussing at) the thing, he decided we just needed to bite that bullet and buy a new one.  This is in actuality a good thing - the old one, because of its issues has been a BIG electric hog.  We hope the new one will help this! Because it is as old as our home (and trailer-quality to boot!) there is no water shut off by the heater - this means Paul had to shut off the water to the house alltogether.  We have now been without water for 16+ hours.  Something he had to do of course, but it makes life difficult for all of us - and 6 people with no water (no TOILETS) is not so pleasant.  We are all a little grumpy today :) Only a little though, because we know its only temporary, and he did fill up some containers of water before he turned it off.  Hopefully, the installation of the new one will go smoothly!

I do have great news to report on Zak/heart issues  too.  After he went in for the echocardiogram and was released to play we had a follow up visit with the cardiologist.  He said everything looked good/normal, BUT he wanted to make sure.  So, he restricted Zak from sports again until he had a stress echocardiogram.  We went in this past Monday for that.  The tech who performed the test said I could call on Tuesday for the results and most likely he would be cleared to play - which is exactly what happened!  Our prayer that his heart was healthy and everything normal was answered!  He was able to practice the rest of the week, play in the game on Thursday, and participate in his strength/conditioning class too.  Our God is good, all the time!

Its been a time of showers within our extended families too.  Paul's cousin Dan lost his fight with cancer after a short, courageous battle.  While we grieve for his loved ones, we rejoice that he is Home and no longer in pain.  My brother-in-law had a scare too:  he ended up in the hospital with a collapsed lung, not the bad chest cold he thought he was fighting.  After 5 nights in the hospital, he is home healing.  It was a scary time, and I am very glad my sister is the amazing woman she is! She is my hero - strong and courageous:)  I also just found out my uncle, who has been dealing with heart issues for many years, is not doing well either.  I pray for him, my aunt, my cousins and their families. I know this is a scary time for them too. My aunt is still fighting the good fight against cancer as well.  She is going in for treatments and I know, no matter what happens that she will WIN, because a victory over cancer isn't always what we expect when you are saved.  Its hard to leave all our troubles and cares in God's hands - but He does know best, we need to trust and have faith.  Please lift them all up.

My old girl (the truck!) is still ailing too.  The brake issues are not completely resolved, even with new brakes.  The anti-locks are being weird.  Not sure what is going on there.  And, we need new tires. Again.  I drive way too much...   I need to borrow a phrase from my Aunt Sheryl with this, she called a vehicle she drove a "faith-mobile".  This is entire appropriate when I think of my truck - I don't drive a suburban, or a truck, or a GM vehicle, I drive a "faith-mobile"! I pray every day that she will get me where I need to be! Hand-in-hand with this is the search for another car.  Zak REALLY wants to buy his own.  I REALLY want something smaller to drive back and forth to work and put HIM in the faith-mobile, since he will be driving a much shorter distance.  We'll see what happens.  We still need to get him in for the driving test and his license, so the search continues...

But, its a beautiful day! Sunshiney, 70's... The best of fall weather.  We take the good with the bad.  Each day is new.  And, our God is GOOD, all the time! ALL the time, our God is good! Blessings to you, enjoy the moment! 

june

Its been a busy month for us.  I have a hard time balancing the things I want to do, and the things that I NEED to do.  Wouldn't we all rather do the "fun" things??  And, when it seems that there is so MUCH that I need to do, and I don't know how to fit the things I want to do in... well, I get down.  I know I'm not alone in this, and I really, REALLY don't want to whine about it. My goal with this is not to weigh others down with my negativity... so, I will focus on the things that get me UP:)

I am reminded what good kids I have.  We really have been extra busy this month, and with the exception of a few "don't bug me" episodes and a little teenage attitude - the big 3 especially have been helpful and pleasant to be around.  Baby girl, she just wants to help all the time...  even when help isn't really helpful:) And, as long as she gets a good nights sleep, she's pretty much a joy to be around;)  They are also good friends - most of the time! Dev and Liv had friends visit from Tennessee, who were a bit homesick. So, we invited them to be part of our family for 10 days.  (I'm sure the days they spent with their grandparents were a welcome respite from our hectic house!) Zak and Dev have also been working part-time at the mill. In the NASTY, dirty, basement of the mill. That probably hasn't been cleaned or used in, well, a really long time.  They have been doing this without complaint (generally!).  They do get a day at Aunt Lisa's pool once a week, and Grandma Smit plans on them helping out around her house too, so they will get a break from the dust and dirt, but its good for them.  Keeps them off the video games all summer.  Liv is "in charge" while the boys are working this summer.  Its been, good. Most of the time.  We haven't had a very normal schedule yet, so time will tell. I have confidence in her though. 

I treasure the good friends who always call at just the right time.  To go for a walk, to plan a movie date, or just tell me about their day.  It reminds me that I'm not alone in this. Not that I am ever alone... Sometimes, I admit, I long for some moments by myself that don't include speeding down the expressway! My walks do help this, but I am getting those in before work right now with my sister when I drop the boys at weightlifting.  And, lets face it - sometimes you just don't want to do it again! So, my evening walks - my reflection time - is on hiatus for now.  Which, in 90+ degree weather isn't all bad!  And, speaking of treasured people... my sister is my go-to for just about everything right now.  I'm pretty sure she gets awfully sick of me some days!  But I appreciate everything she does for me, and I KNOW I don't know what I would do without her!

Sisters...  I have some difficult news from my mom about one of her sisters.  She went into the hospital with some stomach issues, and they discovered a tumor on her pancreas. Right now, they do not know for sure that it is cancerous, but she is having some pretty major surgery tomorrow, followed by what sounds like a longish hospital stay.  Growing up, we were always really close to my mom's sisters and this is a really hard thing for me - I can't imagine what her husband/kids/grandkids are feeling or how my mom and her other sisters feel.  I am praying hard, and ask that you do as well.  She has always been an amazing example of faith in my life, and no matter what I KNOW she will continue to be one of God's shining lights for me.  So, while this isn't necessarily an "upper" for me, it does serve to remind me that God always has His hands on us, and a purpose for everything we live through.

Paul is planning on coming home in about 10 days.  This is a HUGE step for us.  I have so many mixed feelings about it, I can't even put it into words.  One of the steps in deciding if he is ready to come home, and continue his program from here was talking to the "leveling counselor", who makes the recomendation to stay at the ARC for the last level, or determines if someone is strong enough to complete the program from home.  Paul said the counselor is confident that he has the tools he needs to come home at the end of the month.  I need to be confident then, too.  God placed the people at the ARC in Paul's life at this time for a reason, and I have to trust that He is working on a much larger plan for our lives.  I'm not good at trust. I'm not good at giving up control.  I'm not good at living without a "plan".  These are all things that I am asking you to pray for. For me, and for Paul. For our kids.

Funny how just writing it all out, gets it out of my system. How I feel so much better than I did just a 1/2 hour ago:) I may not know each of you reading this, but I thank God for all of you as well, and ask a blessing on your lives too - without you, this would just be a diary...!