Recipes

My sister-in-law is putting together a "family" recipe book. Complete with stories and pictures.  I have to say, that when she first started this, I was not feeling very great about my life in general - and this just seemed a little too "happy-happy, joy-joy" to me. At most family gatherings, I felt like we were not quite all "there". Its hard to convey in words. But, at home, I felt like our family was just getting by. And going out to larger family gatherings just felt like we were pretending. So, contributing to this just seemed a little too much for me. I wasn't going to send anything. I didn't think I had anything worth sending in. Then, my brother-in-law requested that I send in a recipe. I did, but WASN'T going to send anything else.

A funny thing happened though. Paul decided he was ready to change. To get healed. And, as the lonely nights passed, I decided I had some changing to do too. Some healing needed to happen for me as well. I'm taking each day as it comes, and surprisingly - I'm feeling so much more positive. So much more put together so to speak. I'm more interested in MY life again. I still have my moments, the kids would certainly tell you that! But, I'm gaining. I have started moving forward, for the first time in a long time. And with that, along with a new post about the cook book (which had totally slipped my mind!), I feel like I DO have something to contribute! So, I sent some recipes to my sister.

Emily's cookbook reminder made me suddenly remember one of the first cookbooks (of many!) that I received over the years. In fact, THE very first - its a DeYoung family cookbook that my grandma's nephew put together when I was about 10 years old. My gram was one of 12 children, who all had pretty good size families themselves - so there are recipes from all over in this book. [Kinda like the Smit family book will be:)] My mom bought 2 extras - for my sister and I - when he put it together. She gave them to us as shower gifts when we got married. It has been my "go-to" book for just about everything over the years. I love looking at the names of those who sent in their favorites, and trying to remember who belongs with which family. Its like a puzzle. And so many of them are gone now. Its a wonderful way to bring back fond memories. My book is hand-typed, and copied. Put together by "amateurs". It has a family tree in the back, starting with my great-grandparents. I am on it. I have a place in my family. Just like I have a place in this new cook book. Paul and I have been married almost 19 years. We've been together for 22. Some of his cousins were born after we started seeing each other. To them, I have always been part of the family. I can't imagine not being part of it. I'm going to get extra cook books for my kids. When they get married, I'll give them each one. Maybe it will remind them that they always have a place. Just like mine reminds me.