Recipes

My sister-in-law is putting together a "family" recipe book. Complete with stories and pictures.  I have to say, that when she first started this, I was not feeling very great about my life in general - and this just seemed a little too "happy-happy, joy-joy" to me. At most family gatherings, I felt like we were not quite all "there". Its hard to convey in words. But, at home, I felt like our family was just getting by. And going out to larger family gatherings just felt like we were pretending. So, contributing to this just seemed a little too much for me. I wasn't going to send anything. I didn't think I had anything worth sending in. Then, my brother-in-law requested that I send in a recipe. I did, but WASN'T going to send anything else.

A funny thing happened though. Paul decided he was ready to change. To get healed. And, as the lonely nights passed, I decided I had some changing to do too. Some healing needed to happen for me as well. I'm taking each day as it comes, and surprisingly - I'm feeling so much more positive. So much more put together so to speak. I'm more interested in MY life again. I still have my moments, the kids would certainly tell you that! But, I'm gaining. I have started moving forward, for the first time in a long time. And with that, along with a new post about the cook book (which had totally slipped my mind!), I feel like I DO have something to contribute! So, I sent some recipes to my sister.

Emily's cookbook reminder made me suddenly remember one of the first cookbooks (of many!) that I received over the years. In fact, THE very first - its a DeYoung family cookbook that my grandma's nephew put together when I was about 10 years old. My gram was one of 12 children, who all had pretty good size families themselves - so there are recipes from all over in this book. [Kinda like the Smit family book will be:)] My mom bought 2 extras - for my sister and I - when he put it together. She gave them to us as shower gifts when we got married. It has been my "go-to" book for just about everything over the years. I love looking at the names of those who sent in their favorites, and trying to remember who belongs with which family. Its like a puzzle. And so many of them are gone now. Its a wonderful way to bring back fond memories. My book is hand-typed, and copied. Put together by "amateurs". It has a family tree in the back, starting with my great-grandparents. I am on it. I have a place in my family. Just like I have a place in this new cook book. Paul and I have been married almost 19 years. We've been together for 22. Some of his cousins were born after we started seeing each other. To them, I have always been part of the family. I can't imagine not being part of it. I'm going to get extra cook books for my kids. When they get married, I'll give them each one. Maybe it will remind them that they always have a place. Just like mine reminds me.

Real Life

I didn't pick a word for today. But, for some reason, inspire has been on my mind lately.  What inspires you? An amazing singer, a star athelete, a "winning" polititian, a celebrity? While people like this seem to have done some awesome things, I prefer REAL people.

My sister inspires me. Her life has not been easy. A teenage pregnancy, an early marriage. Some might have said "it can never work". But its been 20 years this past August. And she and my brother in law have lived through the hardest thing a parent can - the loss of a child. And they are still together, still strong.  I'm sure they have their moments. What marriage doesn't. The beauty of it is they keep going - together. The most important thing is FAMILY. And keeping God at the center of it. They walk that walk.  

My mom inspires me. She has lived with MS for more than 25 years. I have watched it progress, until now - she isn't the mom I remember. And I am not talking about her physical appearance. Although those of you who haven't seen her in a while - would be surprised. She forgets things. She falls. She repeats herself. (in fact, it can be hard to deal with!) BUT, she goes on. She LOVES her grandchildren. She offers what help she is able to provide. SHE IS HERE. I can't imagine my life without her. I don't WANT to imagine my life without her.

My Grandpa inspires me. I feel badly that I don't visit more often. Life gets in my way. Selfishness gets in the way. He is the biggest prayer warrior I know. And, no matter what stupid, sinful things us grandkids do - he keeps praying. If I ever needed ANYTHING I have just had to ask. He may not "give" what I want without strings - sometimes there is a lesson involved! But, he (and Grandma too) always helped solve whatever I brought to him. I am lucky to still have him in my life. My kids are lucky to know him. (They've been crazy blessed with Great-Grands - 2 grandmothers on Paul's side and a new grandpa French, and the chance to know all 4 of my grands. Plus step grands) I miss my Grandma though. And I know he does. She had a song for everything. Just this past Sunday in church, the songs we sang I could HEAR her singing along-side of me.

I have many friends who inspire me too. The teenage mother who had the courage to start over - and made an amazing life for herself. The old friend who struggles with an "invisible" illness - she gets out of bed and raises her child, and lives her life the best she can. The couple who struggled with infertility for years, waiting, HOPING to share their lives with children. The cousin who battled his own demons and beats them every day. God shows in their lives, and makes me see what I can be, with His help. These people don't live their lives to inspire people, it just happens. They just live to glorify. And to inspire, to change someone thats just a bonus from God.

Our military men and women inspire me. They don't always face artillery or danger to protect us, but protect us they do. They give us the freedom to follow our dreams, in a country built on dreams. Thank you to the many members of my family, and my friends who have made the sacrifice of time with their families, and sometimes the sacrifice of their very lives so that I can sit here and type! No matter what the war, you answered that call of duty.

Its been a bad few years for dead celebrities. Michael, Whitney... God gifted you with amazing abilities. Did you use them to praise? Did you use what you achieved to better others? Yes and no. Do you deserve "inspiration" status? Not for me. I'll take a real person any day.