Mom, can I have the keys?

Haven't heard this one yet.  Only because we haven't had time for him to take the driving test and go the Secretary of State's office.  A little LOT more practice parking wouldn't hurt either...  Another vehicle is on our list of "wants" too, Zak has been saving all summer thinking he is going to find his own - something cheap and reliable is tough to find right now!

This man-child living in my house is someone I absolutely love with my whole being.  His growth into the person I see daily has been one of the most rewarding, challenging, and amazing experiences ever.  Being a mom is the hardest job on earth.  I can't imagine my life any other way.  If you had told me 16 years ago the things and emotions I would live through I would not have believed you.  I don't think anyone who has not been a parent can.  I have grown up right along with him.  Every day is something new - still.  Celebrating his "golden" birthday this week has brought back so many memories - the good, bad, beautiful and not-so-beautiful ones!  He is awesome! I love him more than I ever thought possible!  My first born...

August 16, 1996 at 5:22 pm, this 8 lb baby boy (whom I was certain was going to be a girl!) came into my life.  One of the most amazing experiences ever.  And now, 16 years later, he towers over me.  But, he still is the most tender-hearted, loving boy.  His sense of humor, his love of his brother and sisters, his spiritual growth all make him the person he is. 

We've had a crazy week though.  On Tuesday, he had an episode at practice: shortness of breath, tightness in his chest, difficulty getting a deep breath, dizzyness, elevated heart rate and blood pressure.  This led to a doctor visit, where they did an EKG and blood work.  Test results are not all in, and an echocardiogram has been scheduled.  Until we have this done, he is restricted from exercise = no football.  NOT a happy camper.  And the echo isn't scheduled until September 7th.  If we can't get in on a cancellation before that, he will miss almost 1/2 the season.  For us, we just want to know what is going on.  For him, he just wants to NOT miss so much practice and playing time.  It hasn't been a good birthday for him.  We hope and pray its just something simple like anemia or low blood sugar.  And, if its more than that, we will just deal with it as it comes I guess.  Its hard for him, because his identity is that of the "big guy", the football player.  The not knowing is the worst.  For me, just seeing him struggling with this makes me want to cry.  If there is a problem though, I am glad we can find it and address it NOW, and am very glad nothing bad happened because we didn't know anything was wrong.

And so, the freedom promised by a new year is still to come.  We play the waiting game, for more reasons than one.  We hope that in the next few days and weeks he can become a licensed driver and be released to play the sport he loves.  Happy birthday to my sweet boy.  Your momma loves you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.