BIG sigh here. Its been a whirlwind of a fall here. School starting, football everyday for the boys, dance season beginning, 2 weddings, family visits... Busy. In a good way, but sometimes that busyness can get overwhelming. And, of course, we've all been passing a cold around. 'Tis the season I guess!
So often (and I wish I could type while I drive!) I blog in my head on the way to and from the many places that I drive. And then, by the time I get home in the evening there are so many other things that need attention that I either forget what I was going to blog about, I just don't feel like sitting at the computer, OR I fall asleep :) I have definitely missed sharing what's up with us - and getting my "whine" out of my system;)
The boys finished football with an undefeated season - Go Blue! It really was one of the most fun seasons for ME since they started playing - LOVED having them both on the same team! Not even just for the logistics of it either;) It was just fun to see them playing together, doing something they enjoy. Of course, next year I won't have this "luxury" - Zak will be Varsity, and Dev JV, but then the following year they will play together again. And after that, well, I'll have a HS graduate.... and all THAT brings with it! I was reminded by Paul's dad (at his cousin's wedding) that in 5 years, WE could be the parents at a wedding... Which just seems WAY too soon, but P and I were 21 when we got married... and Zak will be 21 in 5 years... So not ready for that!! Instead, I am going to savor every part of him being "only" 16. And, he still hasn't gotten that driver's license - so maybe I can keep him "young" for a bit longer.
Dance season is in full swing - Liv is in 2 competition classes this year, so we are pushing the fundraisers. Butterbraids anyone? Laine is dancing for the first time this year too. She and Naomi are taking a combination class - tap, ballet, and hip-hop. They will be performing a tap in the recital in June. I can only speak for my child when I say SHE LOVES IT. Looks like I've got many years of tutus and taps ahead of me!
Paul is struggling with aches and pains while harvest is in full swing:( His back will never be the same. And he has some permanent nerve damage in his foot (actually the nerve to the foot), so he compensates. Which leads to painful knees and ankles... Gotta love getting older... It all just makes him, hm, kinda... grumpy. BUT, he is a SOBER grump, so I am thankful for that! And I struggle with being pleasant. Because I need to be pleasant ALL the time. I can't start the morning with out the "Good"... I'm not (at least I don't THINK so) a pessimistic person. But its hard to be pleasant ALL the time...
Which brings me to myself. I've lost ME again, with all of the "busyness" of our lives. Its so HARD to find the time for the things that make me feel good, when the other 5 people I live with seem to require so MUCH of my time. My fitness program has stalled out since school started - I was hoping once we got into the routine of it I would be able to pick it back up. That hasn't happened. Yet. My goal is to make November my month. I have stuck with better nutrition, and watching what I eat - kept up my Shakeology in the mornings. I have at least maintained the progress I started last winter and into the summer. I need to start at the BEGINNING of a week (just some latent OCDness coming out), so as of Sunday - I'm walkin'. Walkin' in the mornin', walkin' in the evenin'... Then, after I have trained myself, gotten back into that habit, I'm gonna start my yoga and BBL again. Little steps, but FORWARD steps just the same. I am also starting a bible study with some women from church on Monday nights. Good thing the Tigers had been playing the last few weeks - Bones hasn't been on because of baseball. So I forgot that Monday nights were Bones nights. I would NOT have commited to the bible study had I remembered it was on then. (BIG Bones fan.) Very glad we have DVR. And, very glad I am doing the bible study - looks like a fun group, I can't wait to get into it. My "faith fitness" has been on the back burner for a while too - and in the long run, its WAY more important! I'm needing to find a couple good books to read too. And discipline myself to only read for an hour (or so) at a time. I just struggle with not FINISHING a book when I start it... (another of my mild OCD tendencies).
I've begun thinking about the holidays too. I struggle with the joy there. Again - busyness. I get to the parties and I'm fine. Its the anticipation of them, the planning for them, that do it to me every time. We just have so MANY. And when I think of cutting one (or 2, or 3) out of the schedule, of making our own traditions, I just don't want to give any of them up! I just need to WILL myself out of my Scroogie-ness... We have so MUCH to be thankful for this year. The fact that we are all here, all well (essentially) is HUGE. Remind me of this when I complain. Please. Accountability is my word...
Showing posts with label busy kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label busy kids. Show all posts
Friday, November 2, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
Tomorrow, my baby is going to be another year older. I can hardly believe how quickly the time has passed, and how many changes have happened over the last 7 years.
I am one of two. Plus a third later in my life. Sisters that is. I always wanted an older brother. Paul was the oldest of four. Two boys, two girls. When we got married, that was our plan. After a while anyway. We, of course, went through the "I don't want kids, do you want kids?!" phase. We were having fun. Neither of us had ever lived on our own until we got married. It was an awakening, to say the least. But, as you watch your friends, and sisters (his and mine) having kids, that changes. I can't say we were QUITE ready to become parents... but Zak came along anyway. Other than HATING the car/car seat/riding anywhere he was a good baby. I, on the other hand, had a bit of the blues going on, and couldn't quite appreciate what an easy fellow he was until Devin came along... And, in his own way, Dev was not really a difficult baby - just not the same as Zak. He didn't sleep. Not through the night until he was 3 months old. Yeah, I know - LOTS of babies don't sleep through the night until later than that... But, like I said, I didn't appreciate what a great baby Zak was - in his 6 weeks-sleeping-through-the-nights way until I didn't HAVE a baby who did that!
Then, there is Olivia. The first girl. For Paul and I, and for my parents - my sister had 3 boys, and I had 2 before she arrived. SPOILED... not even the word for it! I swear, I had so many clothes for her that she could have worn 2 outfits a day for the first year, and never had to wear anything twice!! Oh, but she was fun:) And, a good mix of both boys' personalities and sleep patterns... she was a good baby who didn't like to sleep either! By that time though, I felt like I had my feet under me and could run with it. And, for a time that was true. I had my kids that I could give all my attention to - since Paul and I were barely hanging on by that point....
And, I couldn't do it. I left. I took the kids, found a new place to call mine, started working again, and left. I still haven't quite analyzed myself from that time yet. I don't know if I really want to dig down there... I know why I left. I know where I was putting the blame. I also know that I was responsible for some of the issues/problems in our marriage. I do accept my part in it all. And, for a year, Paul and I became friends again. I lived through my own parents' divorce. They both did what they needed to do to live happy, fulfilled lives. But we (Lisa and I) kind of got stuck in it. I didn't want my kids to feel pulled in different directions like I did. I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't tell me what fun they had with Paul, or how much they loved him. And vice versa. So, we talked. And we laughed. And we remembered. Why we fell in love in the first place. And it wasn't perfect - and wasn't going to be. But that was ok. We needed each other, we needed our kids, we needed to be a family. After that year, we decided we needed to try again - the right way. We started going to church again, and found a place where we belonged.
About that time we figured, Olivia was going to start school soon, I was working full time, we had found land to move our house to... Probably ought to think about some hmmm, permanent birth control... Even though we had always talked about 4 kids, 3 seemed like a good number. God had other plans. We found out I was pregnant for Elaina right after scheduling a doctor appointment... NOT what we thought we would be doing again! We were older, we finally had everyone out of diapers - 7 years of diapers is a long time! But the pregnancy was fun. Uneventful. Until 5 weeks before she was due. My water broke, we went into the hospital, and my blood pressure was really high, and couldn't be controlled. We ended up having an emergency C-section. Scary stuff. I needed to be put out because the block wouldn't numb me up fast enough. I couldn't see her right away because I couldn't walk when I did wake up. And she was little. Only 3lbs, 6oz. Scary stuff. Funny thing - those days are almost a blur now. I remember the fear, the anxiety of those days, but the last 7 years have gone by so quickly. Too quickly.
She's not little anymore. She's my giggly, crazy girlie. She loves dressing up, and make-up. She likes to be tickled, and cuddled. And, finally - she likes to sleep in! AFTER NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT UNTIL SHE WAS A YEAR!! Yes, I became very grateful for those babes who slept after 3 months... She - was not one of them!! But, oh how my life would be empty with out her! I cannot imagine our family with out her in it! She might be the "pesty little sister who won't leave them alone", but they all take care of her. Its fun to watch my big, teenage boys play dolls with her, or play in the sandbox. And she and Liv are getting to be friends. I KNOW they will treasure each other as they grow up.
So HAPPY BIRTHDAY Baby Girl! No matter how much you grow up, you'll always be my baby! Love you, Lainie-girl!
I am one of two. Plus a third later in my life. Sisters that is. I always wanted an older brother. Paul was the oldest of four. Two boys, two girls. When we got married, that was our plan. After a while anyway. We, of course, went through the "I don't want kids, do you want kids?!" phase. We were having fun. Neither of us had ever lived on our own until we got married. It was an awakening, to say the least. But, as you watch your friends, and sisters (his and mine) having kids, that changes. I can't say we were QUITE ready to become parents... but Zak came along anyway. Other than HATING the car/car seat/riding anywhere he was a good baby. I, on the other hand, had a bit of the blues going on, and couldn't quite appreciate what an easy fellow he was until Devin came along... And, in his own way, Dev was not really a difficult baby - just not the same as Zak. He didn't sleep. Not through the night until he was 3 months old. Yeah, I know - LOTS of babies don't sleep through the night until later than that... But, like I said, I didn't appreciate what a great baby Zak was - in his 6 weeks-sleeping-through-the-nights way until I didn't HAVE a baby who did that!
Then, there is Olivia. The first girl. For Paul and I, and for my parents - my sister had 3 boys, and I had 2 before she arrived. SPOILED... not even the word for it! I swear, I had so many clothes for her that she could have worn 2 outfits a day for the first year, and never had to wear anything twice!! Oh, but she was fun:) And, a good mix of both boys' personalities and sleep patterns... she was a good baby who didn't like to sleep either! By that time though, I felt like I had my feet under me and could run with it. And, for a time that was true. I had my kids that I could give all my attention to - since Paul and I were barely hanging on by that point....
And, I couldn't do it. I left. I took the kids, found a new place to call mine, started working again, and left. I still haven't quite analyzed myself from that time yet. I don't know if I really want to dig down there... I know why I left. I know where I was putting the blame. I also know that I was responsible for some of the issues/problems in our marriage. I do accept my part in it all. And, for a year, Paul and I became friends again. I lived through my own parents' divorce. They both did what they needed to do to live happy, fulfilled lives. But we (Lisa and I) kind of got stuck in it. I didn't want my kids to feel pulled in different directions like I did. I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't tell me what fun they had with Paul, or how much they loved him. And vice versa. So, we talked. And we laughed. And we remembered. Why we fell in love in the first place. And it wasn't perfect - and wasn't going to be. But that was ok. We needed each other, we needed our kids, we needed to be a family. After that year, we decided we needed to try again - the right way. We started going to church again, and found a place where we belonged.
About that time we figured, Olivia was going to start school soon, I was working full time, we had found land to move our house to... Probably ought to think about some hmmm, permanent birth control... Even though we had always talked about 4 kids, 3 seemed like a good number. God had other plans. We found out I was pregnant for Elaina right after scheduling a doctor appointment... NOT what we thought we would be doing again! We were older, we finally had everyone out of diapers - 7 years of diapers is a long time! But the pregnancy was fun. Uneventful. Until 5 weeks before she was due. My water broke, we went into the hospital, and my blood pressure was really high, and couldn't be controlled. We ended up having an emergency C-section. Scary stuff. I needed to be put out because the block wouldn't numb me up fast enough. I couldn't see her right away because I couldn't walk when I did wake up. And she was little. Only 3lbs, 6oz. Scary stuff. Funny thing - those days are almost a blur now. I remember the fear, the anxiety of those days, but the last 7 years have gone by so quickly. Too quickly.
She's not little anymore. She's my giggly, crazy girlie. She loves dressing up, and make-up. She likes to be tickled, and cuddled. And, finally - she likes to sleep in! AFTER NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT UNTIL SHE WAS A YEAR!! Yes, I became very grateful for those babes who slept after 3 months... She - was not one of them!! But, oh how my life would be empty with out her! I cannot imagine our family with out her in it! She might be the "pesty little sister who won't leave them alone", but they all take care of her. Its fun to watch my big, teenage boys play dolls with her, or play in the sandbox. And she and Liv are getting to be friends. I KNOW they will treasure each other as they grow up.
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| First day of school, 2011 (1st grade) |
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Busy week
Its looking like a busy week. Sunday started it all with Paul being able to spend several hours home with us - but driving to GR and back twice in one day fills up alot of time! (NOT complaining!!) Yesterday was our normal Monday, with play practice for Zak thrown in. Today was "dance Tuesday", with the addition of the middle school choir concert. Tomorrow I get to start the process of getting another child ready for high school (am I really this old?!). I think Thursday is free though - woo hoo, think I love Thursday :) Friday the kids don't have school... again. But, Saturday, Saturday... Lisa and I are taking the girlies on a hotel weekend, with a dance competition for Liv on Sunday. We haven't done a weekend with just us girls, in... well, ever! REALLY looking forward to it.
And, thats all I got tonight! Paul thought maybe he would get a chance to call, but its after 10, and we agreed that I wouldn't expect to hear from him after that. So, I'm goin' to bed! Gonna pray that his week is full, busy, and rewarding, and that he knows I am holding his hand in spirit! If any of you are interested in going to church services with him Sunday, or want to spend a couple hours with him - LET ME KNOW - I won't be around this weekend, so he could use some company...
And, thats all I got tonight! Paul thought maybe he would get a chance to call, but its after 10, and we agreed that I wouldn't expect to hear from him after that. So, I'm goin' to bed! Gonna pray that his week is full, busy, and rewarding, and that he knows I am holding his hand in spirit! If any of you are interested in going to church services with him Sunday, or want to spend a couple hours with him - LET ME KNOW - I won't be around this weekend, so he could use some company...
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