I'm Baaaaack...

BIG sigh here.  Its been a whirlwind of a fall here.  School starting, football everyday for the boys, dance season beginning, 2 weddings, family visits... Busy.  In a good way, but sometimes that busyness can get overwhelming.  And, of course, we've all been passing a cold around. 'Tis the season I guess! 

So often (and I wish I could type while I drive!) I blog in my head on the way to and from the many places that I drive.  And then, by the time I get home in the evening there are so many other things that need attention that I either forget what I was going to blog about, I just don't feel like sitting at the computer, OR I fall asleep :) I have definitely missed sharing what's up with us - and getting my "whine" out of my system;)

The boys finished football with an undefeated season - Go Blue! It really was one of the most fun seasons for ME since they started playing - LOVED having them both on the same team! Not even just for the logistics of it either;) It was just fun to see them playing together, doing something they enjoy.  Of course, next year I won't have this "luxury" - Zak will be Varsity, and Dev JV, but then the following year they will play together again.  And after that, well, I'll have a HS graduate.... and all THAT brings with it!  I was reminded by Paul's dad (at his cousin's wedding) that in 5 years, WE could be the parents at a wedding... Which just seems WAY too soon, but P and I were 21 when we got married... and Zak will be 21 in 5 years... So not ready for that!!  Instead, I am going to savor every part of him being "only" 16.  And, he still hasn't gotten that driver's license - so maybe I can keep him "young" for a bit longer. 

Dance season is in full swing - Liv is in 2 competition classes this year, so we are pushing the fundraisers. Butterbraids anyone? Laine is dancing for the first time this year too.  She and Naomi are taking a combination class - tap, ballet, and hip-hop.  They will be performing a tap in the recital in June.  I can only speak for my child when I say SHE LOVES IT.  Looks like I've got many years of tutus and taps ahead of me!

Paul is struggling with aches and pains while harvest is in full swing:(  His back will never be the same.  And he has some permanent nerve damage in his foot (actually the nerve to the foot), so he compensates. Which leads to painful knees and ankles... Gotta love getting older...  It all just makes him, hm, kinda... grumpy. BUT, he is a SOBER grump, so I am thankful for that! And I struggle with being pleasant. Because I need to be pleasant ALL the time.  I can't start the morning with out the "Good"... I'm not (at least I don't THINK so) a pessimistic person.  But its hard to be pleasant ALL the time...

Which brings me to myself.  I've lost ME again, with all of the "busyness" of our lives.  Its so HARD to find the time for the things that make me feel good, when the other 5 people I live with seem to require so MUCH of my time.  My fitness program has stalled out since school started - I was hoping once we got into the routine of it I would be able to pick it back up.  That hasn't happened. Yet.  My goal is to make November my month.  I have stuck with better nutrition, and watching what I eat - kept up my Shakeology in the mornings.  I have at least maintained the progress I started last winter and into the summer.  I need to start at the BEGINNING of a week (just some latent OCDness coming out), so as of Sunday - I'm walkin'. Walkin' in the mornin', walkin' in the evenin'... Then, after I have trained myself, gotten back into that habit, I'm gonna start my yoga and BBL again.  Little steps, but FORWARD steps just the same.  I am also starting a bible study with some women from church on Monday nights.  Good thing the Tigers had been playing the last few weeks - Bones hasn't been on because of baseball.  So I forgot that Monday nights were Bones nights.  I would NOT have commited to the bible study had I remembered it was on then.  (BIG Bones fan.) Very glad we have DVR.  And, very glad I am doing the bible study - looks like a fun group, I can't wait to get into it.  My "faith fitness" has been on the back burner for a while too - and in the long run, its WAY more important!  I'm needing to find a couple good books to read too.  And discipline myself to only read for an hour (or so) at a time.  I just struggle with not FINISHING a book when I start it... (another of my mild OCD tendencies). 

I've begun thinking about the holidays too.  I struggle with the joy there.  Again - busyness.  I get to the parties and I'm fine.  Its the anticipation of them, the planning for them, that do it to me every time.  We just have so MANY.  And when I think of cutting one (or 2, or 3) out of the schedule, of making our own traditions, I just don't want to give any of them up! I just need to WILL myself out of my Scroogie-ness... We have so MUCH to be thankful for this year.  The fact that we are all here, all well (essentially) is HUGE.  Remind me of this when I complain. Please. Accountability is my word...

summertime

Summer vacation started "officially" at our house this week.  The last day of school for my kids was last Friday. On Monday, the boys started their summer weightlifting schedule for football. At 7am. 4 days a week.  This means MY day actually needs to start earlier than it did during the school year. Hmmm. Something about this doesn't sound right! Part of being a mom I guess. Next year, this will all be different - as Zak will be driving then. OH, that really makes me feel old! 

We also have house guests for about 10 days.  Devin and Olivia have a brother-sister set of friends from their classes who moved to TN during the school year.  It happened to work out that they were able to travel to MI on Wednesday, and they will be staying with us until next Saturday, when I will meet their parents 1/2 way between their home and ours.  It makes us busier, but only because we are trying to fit in friend-visits and fun during my non-working hours OR shuffling Elaina around so that everyone else can go places/do things during the day when I am working and she requires some more "mature" sibling guidance. Sometimes I think she is (and she acts!) older than all of them:)  I love their different personalities, and fun-loving natures - but (again!) I feel old around/because of them!

The end of June Liv will be going on her first YG serve trip.  Even though she is only just entering 6th grade in the fall, the current YG has invited her age-group to join them this summer.  I can't wait to see her reaction to the work they will be doing. Of course, a big draw for her in going is the last-day visit to Michigan's Adventure... I know she will enjoy it all.   Her being part of this group, and then joining YG in the fall when she starts middle school... (you all know this part) makes me feel old:)

One of the biggest changes June brings is Paul's return home.  He is on level 4 of his 5 level program right now.  At the end of level 4, he has the option of coming home, and completing the program from home while still getting credit for finishing the course.  He will have some challenges in completing the program, AND the challenges of returning to his life.  I am hopeful and scared all at the same time.  His commitment to this has remained steady over the last 4.5 months, so I am hopeful that he will be able to come home and stay sober.  He has never been willing to give this kind of time and effort to his alcoholism before.  I'm scared because coming back to "real" life after being so insulated for the last 4.5 months is going to be (IMO) his largest hurdle.  I can't imagine being thrown back into water I was drowning in. I have to trust that he has learned to swim, or at least been given the floatation device he needs to succeed.  When I think of the years we have let go by us... I don't think I need to say it...

July brings us to the traditional "cottage vacation week". Last year we didn't go, so that we could take our first ever family road trip - to Gatlinburg.  We had such a good time.  It was hot, and of course the tourist town was busy, but our cabin on the mountain was a refuge. A wonderful, amazing, much needed escape from our daily lives.  Which is what the best vacations are.  This year, we have no plans.  Or, at least, no road-trips planned. And, no cottage stay in the works either.  I AM taking a week off. We will see where that week finds us.  Maybe we'll just drive until we decide to stop. And see where we are.  Maybe we'll just get some work done at home.  Whatever we decide - we will VACATION. Because this year, just being together is going to be vacation.  And, I won't feel old:)

Throw in summer camp, and summer dance lessons, football camps, 3 days of drivers training, probably a wedding and of course the 4th of July, a couple graduation open houses... oh, and football practices starting in August!  I don't think we'll need to go looking for anything else to do!  

So, on that note, a song to end this post:  I love this crazy, tragic, Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life...