Bittersweet

I would have to say that today was just as great of a day as yesterday. I started the day out with a walk on the treadmill. Really, I did! I surprised myself this weekend. Friday night I was pretty sure that I "deserved" a weekend off from exercise. That 2 days really didn't matter. But Saturday morning and again this morning I just couldn't skip it! Huh. Who would have figured.

We have such an amazing church family. When we started going to our church a little over 7 years ago, it was with the idea that we were just going to try it because we wanted to go to a church in the community where the kids went to school. And it just "fit". We've made some good friends, and now I can't imagine going anywhere else. This morning, everyone I talked to reminded me why we go to church in the first place - to lift each other up. Rejoice with them during the good times, and sorrow with them when life takes other directions. Pray with and FOR them. I am so thankful for each and every one of my church family!

After church today we went to pick Paul up from ARC. We made kind of a late start, because once I get talking... He was waiting for us when we got there. HE LOOKED SO GOOD!! His back is healing well, he has work to keep him busy, he's eating well, and has lost a few pounds too! Its good to see the happy side of him again. And, he is still the same Paul he's always been :)  We had a fun family lunch at Logan's with his parents. Then we got to go HOME.  Oh, how good it was to just be "normal" for the day! Devin spent the weekend at YG camp, so we went to pick him up, and then just relaxed with a movie.  There was a meeting for the summer serve project Zak is going on, so Paul was able to go to that with me.  I think it was just what he needed. Seeing some of the people who have been so faithfully supporting him in prayer, and hearing how much he is missed can only help.

But, like every "date", there is an end.  And it really did feel very much like a date.  He was ready to be picked up when we got there.  We went out to lunch and then home for a movie. We socialized with people we knew. And then he had to be back in time for curfew. Very strange feeling. Almost like being thrown back in time. The thing is, when you are 19 and dating, all you have to think about is the "now" of it. There are no worries.  NOW, though, we have 4 kids who are VERY affected by every choice, every decision we make. After living our life together, and then to go back to "dating", when for 18+ years we have lived along side each other, it was just really hard. I need a cigarette. Or, I should say, I WANT a cigarette. But, I won't have one. Because, I DON'T need one. And, I really don't want one either. What I WANT is my husband back. I need him back. And I know I'll get him back. Its just gonna take time. Like I said, bittersweet.